I was out when I realized that men who aren’t naturally good with BBW have absolutely no concept of letting a relationship naturally develop with a chubby woman. I’ve noticed that they have these mindsets of “Do I make a move on her now? No? What about now? No!? How about now!?”. Everytime that they see a busty girl that they’re sexually attracted to, they feel the need to make something happen, whether it is getting them home, sex, going out on a date, or getting a make-out session. I don’t think they understand how needy and desperate that makes them look in the eyes of BBW. Don’t get me wrong, if a plus size girl is all over me I’m going to attempt to sleep with her. However, if a girl is only mildly interested in me, or maybe not interested in me at all, then I’m not going to try to force anything. Instead, I’m going to shift my focus on just being a really cool friend to have, and I’ll let her attraction for me naturally develop over time. I never come at them with the mindset of trying to make something happen.

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What do I mean by letting their attraction for me naturally develop? Let me explain. With a lot of the women that I’ve dated and slept with, they weren’t all that sexually attracted to me when we first met. Sure, they may have seen me as a physically attractive guy, but that is very different than being sexually attractive. BBW see physically attractive guys all the time, but that doesn’t mean that they’re going to go out on a date or have sex with them. So, how do I let a chubby woman’s attraction for me naturally develop? For one, I just focus on being a cool friend to have. I focus on making them laugh and have a good time whenever they’re with me; not even a sexual thing. If you ask a lot of the female friends I have why they hang around me, they’re going to tell you it’s because I’m funny and I know how to have a good time when I’m out. When I have no agenda, and I focus on being funny and having a good time, this makes busty women WANT to be around me, as I am a guy that they can have fun with without the worry of me hitting on them in one way or another.

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Next, I establish myself as one of the important people in their lives. After we’ve hung out a few times, I actually start calling or messaging these BBW about whatever. What this does is open a dialogue of conversation about anything. I never call or message these girls with an agenda. Sometimes we talk about random things that happened while we were out; sometimes we talk about random events in our lives; and as time goes on, we tell each other more and more intimate things. Not sexually intimate things, but just things that you would only share with a close friend. To give you an example, I was just on the phone for about an hour with a chubby girl. What did we talk about? We talked about a trip she’s taking, we talked about the girl I saw last night with a dermal piercing, we talked about the guys that are going to try to pick her up on her trip (she’s going to a city where a lot of PUA’s hang out), we talked about her being sick, we talked about her getting a new TV soon, etc. Notice how there is no agenda. We’re just talking to each other about whatever.

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Some of you are thinking “you’re just in the friend zone”, but what you fail to see, is that I am actually an attractive guy. These busty girls know that I have other options with women just by looking at me, and because I actually talk to them about the various plus size women in my life. Not only that, but I also have attractive qualities. Attractive qualities? Although I may not be hitting on them, I still take charge, I still speak my mind, I still talk to other chubby women when I’m around them, I still tease them, I still sometimes don’t call them back when I’m suppose to, I still turn down their offers to hang out if I have something better to do, and more importantly, I don’t follow them around like I’m their little orbiter lap dog.

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When you are friends with a chubby woman, and she starts to see that you have attractive qualities, then you’ll slowly start to become more than just a physically attractive guy in her eyes. All of a sudden, they’ll start to see you as a guy that they actually want to date or have sex with. What they’ll do, is start telling their friends that they think you’re hot, they’ll start to question your sexuality (are you gay?), they’ll start calling you a lot more than you call them, and sooner or later, they’ll actually try to make a move on YOU. And even if she never feels any sexually attraction towards you, then you should still be cool with that, as you should always be a really cool fun guy to hang around, regardless of if a busty girl likes you or not.

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You are probably thinking “But doesn’t this post go against any kind of target selection?”. Not really. By eventually selecting a target, you are just choosing to number close the girl that is most likely respond well to you. There are many cases where I never even isolate a chubby girl or make it seem like I have a sexual thing for her. If I feel like she is very sexually attracted to me, then I will isolate and maybe go for the one-night stand or set up a date of some sort. However, if I don’t feel like there is a lot of sexual attraction right away, then I will actually take a step back and intentionally place myself in the friend zone to let the sexual attraction mature and develop over time (i.e. I back away from any sexual comments or touching, and I don’t try to put out a sexual vibe or any sexual interest of any sort).

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That is how I slept with or dated nearly every BBW I had in middle and high school. That’s how I was able to never ask a girl on a date or make a move on her, yet still be able to get into a relationship or have sex with her. At a very early age, I learned that the friend zone is good for you. When tilled the right way, it is the soil in which a busty woman’s sexual attraction for you will naturally grow.

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